I awoke with a sadness. The past 5 birthdays since my Mum passed away have started that way. They get easier but they will never be quite the same. But this year brings a new level of grief.
It was my 34th birthday yesterday. I should have been 22 weeks pregnant. I should have been counting down the weeks until I went on maternity leave, until we moved upstairs and started preparing bambino’s room. Until we had a newborn bundle in our arms. A perfect addition to our family.
I acknowledge this feeling and tell Brian why I’ve started crying. Sometimes I just need to explain myself in a sentence or two, have a hug and then move forward. And that’s what I do.
I celebrate what I do have including the people in my life and that’s a whole lot. I just wish things were different and I could celebrate this time with a growing babe in my belly.
The Saffron Chronicles 